Returning for a third year at this unique and fun event, watch out – here we come!
Prepare for Goblins!
Knights!
Ogres…
Mythical creatures…
and The Usual Suspects…
It’s light-hearted, silly fun. Quite family-friendly during the day. The usual grown-up delights are available after the sun goes down.
September 19th, 20th, 21st 2025 are the dates. Woodland, WA is the place – about 45 minutes north of Portland. We look forward to face off against you on the croquet pitch!
Bring a bowling ball and a sledgehammer. Don’t worry if you don’t have, we’ve got plenty of extras to loan out
You’ll enjoy yourself more if you’re dressed appropriately in lawn whites, or Mad Hatter gear, or simply appropriately inappropriate. Peruse some of our photos for ideas.
Bring along something to share for the picnic and something cold to drink.
The Realms Unknown Festival is a 3-day, all genre fantasy festival with camping, nestled on 50 acres of lush greens in Woodland, Washington on the Lewis River Golf Course. The event runs on September 20th, 21st & 22nd, 2024. It is an interactive event offering experiential activities and unique entertainment for all ages! The festival is also ADA friendly, and much intentionality is going into ensuring accessibility for all of our guests and participants!
Food, vendors, entertainers and an interactive quest to engage with.
Enter through the Nexus portal and discover your skills and build your party to complete the ultimate quest! Rely on your individual wits, or the combined skills of your group to overcome fun and interactive challenges and tasks as you navigate the different realms. Explore the realm of Ages Past and encounter the fanfare and battles of the Vikings, Knights and Pirates. Will you be able to convince these brave warriors and rapscallions to give you the clues you need? Journey through Fae & Goblin Town to discover the magic of the fae folk, the nature elements, and the hidden secrets of the mermaids. Beware, for not is all as it seems in this realm! Step into the future and the past with the Time Travelers. Appreciate the dapper things in life, learn the proper etiquette of refined time traveling, learn to dance, and even have a spot O’ tea along the way! Get lost in the Borderlands where you will navigate through the strange, the obscure and the weird. While you are busy saving the realms playing the interactive Portal Quest, you will also enjoy an opportunity to shop for unique wares and treasures. Fill up on some good food and delicacies of all kinds or visit the 3 (21+) taverns—one in each realm—and stay for the evening performances and entertainment line-up!
The Realms Unknown Festival is a 3-day, all genre fantasy festival with camping, nestled on 50 acres of lush greens in Woodland, Washington on the Lewis River Golf Course. It is an interactive event offering experiential activities and unique entertainment for all ages!
Food, vendors, entertainers and an interactive quest to engage with.
Enter through the Nexus portal and discover your skills and build your party to complete the ultimate quest! Rely on your individual wits, or the combined skills of your group to overcome fun and interactive challenges and tasks as you navigate the different realms. Explore the realm of Ages Past and encounter the fanfare and battles of the Vikings, Knights and Pirates. Will you be able to convince these brave warriors and rapscallions to give you the clues you need? Journey through Fae & Goblin Town to discover the magic of the fae folk, the nature elements, and the hidden secrets of the mermaids. Beware, for not is all as it seems in this realm! Step into the future and the past with the Time Travelers. Appreciate the dapper things in life, learn the proper etiquette of refined time traveling, learn to dance, and even have a spot O’ tea along the way! Get lost in the Borderlands where you will navigate through the strange, the obscure and the weird. While you are busy saving the realms you will also enjoy an opportunity to shop for unique wares and treasures, enjoy some spirits in the 21+ Ages Past Tavern. Fill up on some good food and delicacies of all kinds and stay for the evening performances and entertainment line-up!
Bring a bowling ball and a sledgehammer. Don’t worry if you don’t have, we’ve got plenty of extras to loan out
You’ll enjoy yourself more if you’re dressed appropriately in lawn whites, or Mad Hatter gear, or simply appropriately inappropriate. Peruse some of our photos for ideas.
Bring along something to share for the picnic and something cold to drink.
Bring a bowling ball and a sledgehammer. Don’t worry if you don’t have, we’ve got plenty of extras to loan out
You’ll enjoy yourself more if you’re dressed appropriately in lawn whites, or Mad Hatter gear, or simply appropriately inappropriate. Peruse some of our photos for ideas.
Bring along something to share for the picnic and something cold to drink.
Bring a bowling ball and a sledgehammer. Don’t worry if you don’t have, we’ve got plenty of extras to loan out
You’ll enjoy yourself more if you’re dressed appropriately in lawn whites, or Mad Hatter gear, or simply appropriately inappropriate. Peruse some of our photos for ideas.
Bring along something to share for the picnic and something cold to drink.
…and you might want a chair.
It’s a smashing time. Tell your friends! Taunt your enemies!
Bring a bowling ball and a sledgehammer. Don’t worry if you don’t have, we’ve got plenty of extras to loan out
You’ll enjoy yourself more if you’re dressed appropriately in lawn whites, or Mad Hatter gear, or simply appropriately inappropriate. Peruse some of our photos for ideas.
Bring along something to share for the picnic and something cold to drink.
…and you might want a chair.
It’s a smashing time. Tell your friends! Taunt your enemies!
M’lords and Ladies, let me present to you the Summer Lake Slack-Off.
It’s like going to Burning Man, without having to go to Burning Man. From September 3rd through about September 8th the usual suspects will be slacking off at Summer Lake Hot Springs in Paisley, Oregon. What are we going to do while we’re there? Slack off, of course!
Summer Lake Hot Springs is about half-way from Gerlack and the Portland/Seattle areas. Every year a whole bunch of Burners spend a night or two to recover and the place is ready for them. In addition to the hot springs for soaking, they have a large, comfy hippy-ish common building with kitchen for slacking off.
Tent and RV space starts at $25/night. There are a number of comfy cabins in addition to the tent/RV spaces and they are largely booked up right now, so don’t delay if you desire that option. These are really small towns, and this is their busiest season so don’t be surprised to find everything booked up if you wait too long. Here are some options I know about:
…maybe there’s something available through Air b’n’b?
UPDATE:
I just spoke with the people who run the hot springs. They say they will *NOT* be open for “day use”, to get in the springs you’ll need a reservation at either the hot springs, or their motel in Paisley: The Paisley Sage Rooms.
COVID NOTE: I’m writing this in March of 2021. Current predictions are that we should all pretty much be vaccinated by mid-summer, so let’s hope life will have returned to normal. If we still need to take COVID precautions, Summer Lake Hot Springs has lots of room for social distancing.
Get a taste of the Burning Man spirit without all the time, expense and discomfort! Looking for more information, status, updates, rebates, reprobates? Check out the Facebook event and/or contact Lord Peters.
